buckeh barnez. 18. bi. #scenekid. u know my name, NOT my story.. you know what i did, NOT what i went thru… Steve Rogers is my BFFLAEAEAE. mess w/ him? we got a prob.
The life of Gordon Ramsay isn’t an easy one
Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???
Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.
Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”
we use names
if i ever get married i am gonna be too embarrassed to kiss my husband in front of everyone, especially my parents, so we will probably just high five or something
oh shit theres a baby on board? fuck well i guess i wont rear end you like i normally would
the baby on board sign is to alert paramedics in the event of a crash that theres a baby that needs to be attended to first u absolute fucking walnut
absolute fucking walnut
Oh how I’ve missed this post.
I am weirdly attracted to older guys.
And by older guys I mean 50+
OLD IS BETTER LET’S JUST ALL ACCEPT IT AND CONTINUE OUR FLAILING
Everything gets finer with age
900+ (just saying)
*Reblogs again shamelessly*
1000+ (and a little shitty just for good measure)
Older than the Earth itself
I’m really sorry, i just couldn’t unsee this… I had to!! You understand?! I. HAD. TO.
The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
bust ya nut and off ya strut
why dont these words rhyme
but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do
If I ever get married I’m insisting that The Rains of Castamere be played during the reception just so I can sit back and watch the panic creep onto my guests faces
Europe according to penis size
YEAH, OKAY NOOOO, STOP THIS FRANCE, IT’S PENIS, NOT THE EIFFEL
It took me awhile to work out that this was in centimeters
I was like what the fuck Europe
how was this study carried out though, that’s the real story
"LET US MEASURE YOUR WILLY GOOD SIR!
snorts at ireland
proud to be hungarian rn
suddenly this explains a lot
smiles down at crotch